I have noticed an interesting trend among my male friends.Most of them are so poor at texting or even responding to missed calls. However, after getting into a serious relationship, it is an art they have no choice but to master. I believe this difference stems from how men and women view conversation.
Men often have to figure out in their minds, what it is they will say, before speaking or sending a text. A woman on the other hand, uses conversations to sort out what it is, that she wants to communicate. I guess this is why women always text really long messages to say something that really could have been explained in only two sentences so please bear with us (lol).
It also comes down to mind organisation; men believe in being logical and having a clear purpose in communication. A man will therefore have a conversation set to either bring a point across or solve a problem. A woman on the other hand, uses a conversation emotionally; to release her feelings or strengthen the bond with her man. No wonder she feels all alone if he doesn’t engage with her in communication even if there is absolutely nothing important to say.
Men always want to tackle the problem and are impatient to fix it. When his woman raises a personal concern, he will be so quick to either give the solution or dismiss the matter by saying, “that is such a small issue.”This is actually where the problem begins. She knows that already and probably even has alternative problem solving strategies. She just wants you to listen and show a bit of a concern. No wonder the next time she will just go silent when offended because either you will say she’s making a mountain out of a mole hill or you will give a solution making her feel like it was nothing more than a tiny issue.
It is also interesting that when a man is offended, he has no issue speaking about it out most times. However, when stressed out either by family, business etc. he becomes withdrawn leaving her guessing as to what might be the issue. Should she be concerned and keep asking what the issue is, or give him his space? Perhaps I will understand this some day. meanwhile, to get a male perspective on this, please read my colleague Mitchell’s post HERE