I assumed they were a couple because I had seen them shop together before and from the way the man held the lady, any form of sibling relationship was ruled out. When it came to pay, the man began to settle the bill only to realise that he was short of money and turned and asked the lady (who was carrying her purse), to chip in.
It was not the man’s actions that shocked me but rather, the lady’s response as she took the money out of her purse. It made me think deeply about us women and our attitude towards money especially, when in the company of a man.
Without a thought as to his feelings or indeed, who was listening, the lady reluctantly gave the money to her man and told him curtly that he had to refund her. I could clearly tell the man was embarrassed by that statement. What was even more shocking was the fact that the shopping basket contained: lipstick, a hair brush and a pair of doll shoes. So the items in the basket, were clearly not all his.
I know what you are thinking, because I thought so too. Who said it was bad for a lady to help her man out. It doesn’t have to be a situation where you are literally swimming in dollars and Euros. As long as all your needs are met, and you still have pocket change to go out for a meal or two with your friends, the rest is irrelevant. Many a time, I hear ladies saying that their money is theirs alone but that their man’s money is for them to share. Where did this misleading notion come from? When we go on a date, I would hate to imagine that it’s only the man who enjoys the meal, for example. Surely it’s a mutual thing? As much as ladies may believe that the man should be the one to do all this, every once in a while, it doesn’t hurt to lend a hand. I think if we really are advocating for equality between male and female genders, this advocating should be reflected all the way to our pretty purses in those big handbags we carry. Make him also feel that you are not just a receiver, but that you can also give back. After all, it is relationship/partnership not a contract. Wishing you all, many times sharing and enjoying yourselves. With best wishes, Daisy Shamiah To get a male perspective on money, please click link to read my colleague Mitchell Odhiambo’s views