‘BUILDING GREATER COMMUNICATION SKILLS’ By Mercy Karumba

Good communication skills is one critical skill that most of us struggle with, and I bet it gets even harder in a relationship setting.


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Good communication skills is one critical skill that most of us struggle with, and I bet it gets even harder in a relationship setting.

I am slowly learning that there are very crucial barriers to effective communication in a relationship such as Gender differences, Temperate differences, and family background differences. The keyword here being ‘differences’, as long as there is a difference in any way, communication break-down is bound to occur. However, being aware of these differences, and most importantly, knowing how to handle them plays a key part in enhancing communication skills.

Gender differences – As the book by John Gray famously states, ”Men are from Mars and women are from Venus,” men and women communicate differently simply from their biological sense. Sometimes you will hear men complaining that their woman is too emotional, on the other hand, women will complain that he reasons too logically without caring about her feelings. How well a lady understands that her man reasons and speaks logically and a man understands that his spouse is an emotional being might go a long way in enhancing communication between them.

Temperament differences – We recently discussed the four temperaments: choleric, sanguine, melancholic and phlegmatic. These personality traits greatly impact how a person communicates. The key remedy is understanding how much the personality of the other person affects their communication and how to help them out. While a sanguine is ever happy, a melancholic may seem too emotional, a phlegmatic appears not to get pressured by anything, whereas a choleric may appear as too harsh and authoritative. How much is your temperament hindering or enhancing your communication with him/her?

Family background differences – Whereas, two people may come from the same cultural background, they may not be from the same family. Therefore, the way of their handling arguments and communication is quite different. In some families, it’s the norm to shout across the room when addressing the other person, while in others, you have to walk to the person and speak in low-tones. Imagine such a couple, such small family custom difference may have a big impact on how they communicate, one might end up looking like the ‘shouty’ one (lol).

This might have seemed a bit weighty, but it just shows how critical communication is not only at the corporate level but at the personal level as well.

As we try our best to enhance our communication and public-speaking skills, how well are you doing in communicating with your significant other? To get a male perspective on this, check out Mitchell’s post HERE

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