This past week my fiancée convinced me into sitting an enneagram test; more like a personality test to determine what kind of personality I am. It was hilarious to read the findings and to review my characteristics laid out and those of my partner. That whole process made me come to the realisation that “it’s not all about me” and special thanks to my co-writer, Mercy, on picking this topic for discussion this week.
In relationships as in life, we have to learn and accept that the universe does not revolve around us. There are those whom we love, who need to feel that we want them just as much as we desire for ourselves, that feeling of being wanted. When it comes to making compromises, we have to seek a balance and always remember to make our loved ones feel appreciated.
So it’s not always about what I want but rather, what do we desire to have as a team? How can you help your partner achieve their dreams without being lopsided? I notice some of us are really good at tending to the vineyards of our loved ones, although this may come at our own expense. That’s undesirable. Others are good at making demands to have their needs met without consideration for their partner’s wellbeing. Also undesirable.
Sometimes you may have to step out and attend that football match, to cheer your loved one. Though it feels weird, (and I for one, cannot even believe that I am about to write this but here we go), if she loves soap operas, occasionally you have to sacrifice your show, in order to watch the soap she loves with her. Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme but you get this gist? Maybe talk about what to watch and see 🙂
We have to learn to operate as team players. I don’t think it is innate. The human heart is inherently selfish; you only have to dish out one toy to two or more children to see that for yourself. We must learn and we must be intentional to listen to our loved ones and to communicate what is important to us as well, so there is a balance.
Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s new world. To get a female perspective on this, check out Mercy’s post HERE