"She is still not married? We thought by now she would have found someone. How old is she again?" They ask.

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“She is still not married? We thought by now she would have found someone. How old is she again?” They ask.

“He is well-educated, has a well-paying job and everything is good. Did he look around and only see her as the only one fit for marriage, when there are so many other good ladies around?” they shake their heads in disbelief as they speak in low tones. 

“She is really fat, I wonder why she doesn’t take good care of herself. She is so ugly” She whispers to her friend.

“I remember, they had their wedding 3 years ago, I wonder why they don’t have a baby yet. You know … I heard……..” the gossip continues.

Sometimes we think we know people and the struggles they are dealing with, but do we really know them?

This is the sad reality of our society today. Judging one another and making conclusions and decisions on the personal lives of others. Where exactly did we go wrong? Why do I have to be concerned with and gossip about why he decided to marry her and not the one we think fit for him?

She may be single because of something she has gone through in the past that you know nothing about. He chose her for marriage because he believed she was the right person & complements him. She could be trying so hard to keep fit and is really struggling each night starving herself, and you don’t know about that, yet you call her ugly. They still don’t have a child because they are trying each month to have one and have visited almost 20 gynaecologists so far but they don’t need to explain that to you. Do they?

What’s important is understanding the WHY beyond what we can see. Everyone is fighting their own battle that we know little about and we shouldn’t be the first to cast a stone. Remember, the tongue is one of the most powerful weapons which can tear down and break someone to the point of depression and suicide, and on the other hand, it can build and be a source of hope. The choice is yours. 

As the good book reminds us, “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands and in the end, you will win the respect of outsiders and that you may lack nothing. To get a male perspective on this, please read Mitchell’s post HERE  

Photo Creditsuccessfulblackwoman.com


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