There has been uproar recently over a certain distasteful article that ran on a common gossip blog. The article was about a celebrity who was speaking about how he put his prospective wife through a series of tests before deciding she was worthy of him. Now the writer of this article may not have written it to offend, however, that is not how it came out.
So this got me thinking about this common myth that a human being cannot be complete by themselves. This notion that if a person is not dating or married, then they are grossly unhappy. This myth then goes over into people writing ridiculous articles on how to improve yourself to make yourself more desirable to another. Indeed, it is not uncommon to find titles such as ’10 ways to become the woman every man dreams of’ or even ’10 ways to make sure you do not end up alone’. Yes, I agree, human connection is important; it is essentially what we are built for. We are built to connect. However, the idea that these connections have to be romantic is, in my opinion, unfounded and completely untrue.
Recently, I have read articles all over the internet criticizing certain aspects about people. You are an ambitious young lady, you are told you have to turn it down a notch lest no man ever wants you. You are an emotional young man, you have to tone it down because apparently, women are not attracted to men who are not macho. I find this notion to be very untrue. I myself I am at the age where society expects I should meet someone and settle down. I am excited about the prospect of finding someone to settle down with. It’s an exciting time in my life. However, I have come to realize that I am not interested in becoming an attractive person. I am not going to go online and read about who an ideal partner is in this generation. I am not going to airbrush myself. I instead discovered that I am going to spend time on things that make me happy, things that make me a wholesome being and be complete by myself. If I meet someone, then they will like the person I am. It will be organic and more likely to work. It will not have any sort of expiry date because I will never get tired of being me. I do not believe that being with anyone is hitting the jackpot. We are all amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you. You have to discover who you are, love them and spend time nurturing them. Do not let anyone make you believe you need to prove yourself worthy of their love. That is not how it works.
Then there is the flip side to this where there are people who discover very early on in life that they have a different path to take. There are people who discover they want to spend their lives alone, on the road. There are people who long decided they do not want partners. However, we peer into their lives and discredit them on that one thing we term a failure. You meet a lady who has decided she has a full life and therefore does not want any children. You look at her life and decide she is unhappy, you decide she smiles too much because she is trying to cover up the sadness. You meet a man who decided he does not want to settle down, you come into his life and leave with a mind full of assumptions. These people who have discovered their paths are the real heroes of our time. They have chosen their paths and stick by them despite what society says. It is human nature to judge what we do not understand. However, we should spend some time looking inwards instead of outwards. We should spend some time trying to understand our path instead of judging another’s path. To read more posts by Angela click HERE