‘O God help a man, when his woman is pregnant ‘ By Mitchell Odhiambo

My Ninjas, Let me just begin by saying: Woe is you, if your wife is pregnant. If you think you’ve seen your woman...

1635 0
1635 0

My Ninjas, Let me just begin by saying: Woe is you, if your wife is pregnant. If you think you’ve seen your woman at her worst, my brother slow down, unless she’s been pregnant before, what you’ve witnessed is just but the playground. Once she is pregnant, you will get a front row seat in the arena and I hope you like it. You could try all the spiritual mentors you can get but I am afraid that in this journey, you must walk alone. Only the Creator can save you.

And yes, I addressed you as Ninjas, so you can be sure this journey is going to be disastrous; call it the art of war. Men have confessed about how their wives woke them up in the middle of the night demanding five buckets of KFC Chicken, three litres of Ice Cream, ten rods of sugarcane, roasted maize and many ridiculous requests because apparently the baby wants it & believe me, you will get it. It doesn’t matter if you will have some grills brought to your backyard/ sugarcane planted in your hood as a precautionary measure; whatever it takes, men have gone to the extremes. A moment of silence and respect for these soldiers.

Do not be surprised that her dietary requirements increase tenfold and she is now eating food for five. Hello, she is feeding for two and excuse her; often she loses the food she ate during the morning vomits. You better be there to give her the support. Even if you ordered food delivery, then once the delivery guy is gone, she changes her mind, you are only allowed to smile, change your appetite and order something else. Better yet, cook it for her. Are we together?

And onto the moment that scares the most; The Theatre. My brother, summon your inner chi, because inner peace is more important than what goes on around you. That pretty wife of yours who can’t harm a fly will bless you with all manner of vulgar she has known from birth; some of which you may hear for the first time. That notwithstanding, you are only allowed to smile and hold her hand as she journeys the life giving process.

And so we are clear, it doesn’t matter that having the child was a mutual agreement, for sake of argument, you are responsible for her pain, so tuck in your ego and take all the assault with empathy, it will soon be over. After all Love is kind and patient and keeps no record of wrong.

Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world. click HERE to read more posts from Mitchell

In this article

Join the Conversation