Friendships & Relationships By Angela Mugo

There has been a significant shift in habits with every passing generation. Gen-Y is the generation with all the information, they are smart...

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There has been a significant shift in habits with every passing generation. Gen-Y is the generation with all the information, they are smart and very dynamic. However, over the past few days, I have noticed a general dissatisfaction with the Gen-Y’s relationship building skills.

I have this friend I knew way back from high school. She and I were very chummy and spent a great deal of time together. After school we kept in touch though with more of an effort on my part. I did not notice this and if I did, I chose to bury my head in the sad. One day, she and I were spending time together chatting about general things. In the middle of our conversation, she happened to mention that she was getting tired of non-beneficial relationships. When I prodded further, she told me that her life was at the point where she felt she was defining her career. She was carving out the path of her career. In her opinion, she felt her friendship s would be more beneficial if they were based on career similarity and overall alignment of vision.

When you consider this conversation, it is so easy to be appalled by her. She is what we would commonly label as an opportunist, a coquette. Honestly, at the time, I was also appalled and disgusted. On my high horse, I felt like she had lost all humanity and needed to be ostracised. I mean, how dare she choose anything other emotion, as the basis of friendship and general relationships.

I believe we are blinded by the good old idea of a group of friends sitting together in central park and sticking to one another through thick and thin. However, this generation is one of practicality. People want things they understand. They want everything to be explainable. they want things that are all black and white, never grey. I agree that relationships may have lost their depths. We are no longer moved by deep and sincere feelings. However, I think it speaks volumes when someone has a goal in life and aligns all aspects of their relationships to that goal. Just because traditionally friendships are based on love, it does not mean that those are the only acceptable one. It is pretty amazing to be honest about what you want. When someone is candid and open, they are bound to get what they want.

So go ahead and define your friendships. It will be easier for you. Decide what drives your life, what moves you. What causes that stirring in the pit of your stomach. If you feel that you are happier having your relationships based on proximity and overall alignment of dreams, go ahead and do it. If you are that person who craves closeness, companionship and the certainty that someone loves you deeply, go ahead and find love. It does not make you any worse at relationships, it just makes you self-aware. I agree that this generation is not easy at making relationships. However, I feel that they should not be judged for being open and honest about what they need.      Photo credit: HBCU Lifestyle

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