FEMALE PERSPECTIVE By Lillian Sudi – Should a woman Date potential vs already Successful

Let’s face it; most women do not date down. Dating down in this context means, dating anyone whose career trajectory is less than your own.


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Let’s face it; most women do not date down. Dating down in this context means, dating anyone whose career trajectory is less than your own.

It becomes a bit tricky when women meet men who appear to have the potential to become great but at the moment, are far from this. It gets even worse when you know that; (1) He might be a dreamer who talks big and sucked you into his big dreams but was headed nowhere to begin with or (2) His career will take too long to materialize and have you wallowing in poverty for a couple of years first.

By virtue of the fact that men do not have a problem dating down, all that wasted time regardless of whether you are dealing with case (1) or case (2), we can all bet several other successful men will be tailing you around. So do you just decide to wait for better days or do you settle for the already established man? This becomes a difficult situation because after all is said and done; love is amazing up until hunger strikes and you cannot afford electricity or medical insurance.

 At the end of the day there is no right or wrong way to go about this. It is purely all about individual preference because I have come across women who did one and wished they opted for the other. We all love good things so even when a woman settles for you when you don’t have a dime, wallowing in poverty too long will make her consider other options. Everyone’s ultimate goal is to live a comfortable life and the main issue in this context is simply whether the woman’s feelings for the man are intense enough to allow her to overlook his current financial situation or at least, make her patient enough to wait for better days ahead. The disadvantage with the long wait is that you are never truly sure about  whether you will get back value for your time. Some men are known to stay with their ‘ride-or-die’s up until the dying from mere starvation stops being a possibility after which they shift to greener pastures and get a ‘better’ woman to fit his newly found status. On the other hand, sometimes a woman easily starts off with an established man and has a horrible relationship of which she ends up getting out of although often after losing so much of herself already.

My personal policy is, live in the present. Take what is available without generally expecting too much from the situation just so that if things get better then well and good but if they don’t, you actually enjoyed your time rather than just wasting it waiting for things to get better. If you meet a man and you can work with what he has, take the deal and run with it. If you can’t then let him be.  To get a male perspective on this, please click link to read my colleague, Lillian’s views –  http://goo.gl/Ja7swX 

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