‘On Cheating’
My friend’s girlfriend cheated on him a few years ago. I remember him narrating the story on how he found out and how devastating this was for him. He ultimately gave in and started sobbing uncontrollably. I could not imagine what he must have been going through. She had been doing it for years, and he had never suspected a thing.
Women are naturally thought to be monogamous, so what compelled her to do this? I knew her and she came across as a sweet lady. While it is true, my friend had his flaws, on the whole, I would describe him as a handsome, intelligent fellow and equally very caring. He is what most people would refer to as a keeper. So what else is it that she needed? A few months later, I bumped into her and asked her the question: Why. She said simply “I was lonely, I was not connected…and I found someone else who filled that void.”
Every affair is different and I don’t speak for every woman out there but I believe women cheat when they lack something; men cheat because they can. Most women cheat to supplement what they have, they need something that they lack at the moment. It still doesn’t justify the cheating but I guess it helps to know that there is always a reason why. Men however, cheat as a secondary strategy, not an alternate solution. At a very young age girls are heard narrating on how they eventually want to walk down the aisle with that one man of their dream, having children and raising their own families. How simple. So straying clearly it is not something they initially consider. Listening to both parties, I had to conclude that it wasn’t entirely her fault. By default, I was going to take my friend’s side but I could argue it out from the lady’s point of view. I don’t believe a woman wakes up in the morning knowing she has a good man but is hell-bent on straying, unless she is somewhat unhappy about her current situation.
Maybe that is what makes women the best cheaters. They don’t cheat because an opportunity presented itself; they plot, ploy and plan it. We have heard the phrase ‘What men can do, women can do better’. Well truth is where there is sufficient motive, the sky is the limit. Women can cheat for years without ever arousing any suspicion. And when they do cheat, it is usually with one other person at a time. This allows them to have control because two balls are easier to juggle than five.
Women are also more cautious. They can get away with petty excuses since few suspect that it is they who is the one cheating.
I suspect that most women who cheat are never caught rather, they end up confessing all when things go south in their guilt department.
To get a male perspective on this, please click link to read my colleague Mitchell’s views – http://goo.gl/fYfxiv
