‘DEAR HURTING FRIEND’ By Danstan Wasobokha

"It gets better." "You'll be okay." "You've got this." Let me guess- you've heard...

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“It gets better.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“You’ve got this.”

Let me guess- you’ve heard these quotes, plus many others, about a million times. Right? Sure, encouraging words from loved ones or even strangers can help cheer you up a bit. But sometimes it just takes more than words right?

Listen here. You are awesome. Okay? What you are going through now makes you feel like it’s the end of the world. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not. I don’t doubt that others have told you the same thing, but don’t be hard-headed or pessimistic when you hear that. Because it is so true. Throughout your life, no matter what age, you’re going to go through some rough stuff. Your heart is going to break into so many pieces, you’ll think you’re dying. You’re going to lose friends who you thought would be in your life forever.

People around you will die. Your finances will not always be what you want them to be. You’re going to fail a class. You’re going to get caught doing something you shouldn’t. You’re going to go through a lot, and you’re going to feel like you don’t have a purpose on this earth or you just don’t want to live anymore. Listen to me when I tell you that, that is normal. It’s what’s called being human; it’s called living.

Every single thing you go through in life will be a lesson. The key to learning these lessons is to change your way of thinking. When you do something you regret or something that simply kills you inside, go ahead and cry. Seriously, let it all out. Don’t ever bottle those emotions.

Screaming and crying to relieve grief or anger is healthy. However, after your grieving process, look back at the events that occurred and learn from it. Would you do it again? If not, then make sure it doesn’t happen a second time.

Still reading? Well that means you haven’t given up yet, and for that I am so proud of you. If reading articles on the internet still doesn’t help you, here are a few ways to relieve stress in your life and to help you move on from whatever is making you feel like your world is falling apart.

  1. Leave your room – Get up and hang out with someone. Whether that “someone”  is a friend, lover, pet, grandmother, etc., the simple presence of another being is mentally and physically healthy and has proved to be a mood-booster. You don’t even have to do anything. Just be there. Watch tv. Play a card game. Talk.
  1. Take a bubble bath – For real. Take a bubble bath. Not only is it one of the most relaxing things on earth, but if you add a dash of epsom salt to your warm water, it pulls toxins and bacteria from your body. So fill up that tub, add those bubbles, lay back and relax.
  1. Read a book – I don’t care if you like reading or not. Just do it. There truly are many amazing books out there. If you find the right one, it’s easy to get lost in it. Therefore, an escape from reality. Although it won’t be a permanent solution, a temporary escape is better than none.
  1. Travel – Go on a trip, even a simple day trip. Whether it be alone or with friends, why not escape for a while? You could go on a cross-country road trip, travel to an entirely new country, or simply head to the opposite side of your home area. Trust me when I say that everyone needs a getaway once in awhile.

I hope you’re feeling somewhat better after reading this, and will take some of my tips into consideration. I could go on and on about things to make you feel more content about your life, but I truly believe that in order for you to take the first step, you must put that phone down, get off your computer, stop reading this, and live your life to the fullest. Give it everything you’ve got. You’re not alone, kid. I’ve been where you are. You’re going to get through this and come out on the other side, stronger than you ever knew was possible.  “You’ve got this”.   To read more posts by Danstan, click HERE

Photo credit: Dantstan Wasobokha

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