On ‘YOU ARE A TEAM, NOT ADVERSARIES’ By Mitchell Odhiambo

We bear differences in life from the families we come from, our upbringings, the prevailing cultures around us and the environments we emanate from. When these points...


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We bear differences in life from the families we come from, our upbringings, the prevailing cultures around us and the environments we emanate from. When these points of divergent opinions present themselves, be quick to remember you and your partner are members of the same team trying to solve a challenge, you are not adversaries.

I once read somewhere that the area of the brain that gets stimulated when we argue is the same part that gets stimulated when we are threatened with murder. No wonder that once people start arguing they stick to their guns and sink deep into their positions, ready to defend their argument even when presented with facts that out-rightly prove otherwise.

When dealing with your partner, keep it in mind, you are members of one team tackling an issue. It is of little gain and lots of consequences if your goal is to win an argument and always be right. At what cost though will you have won the argument? Your goal is not to prove your partner wrong; your objective is to resolve the issue at hand amicably. The good book says an offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city. I doubt you want to live in an environment as such.

For the gents, I’ll make it easy for you in a remark I read: “Marriage is an institution where one person is always right and the other is the husband” Lol. Try not to argue much. In fact, the good book says it is better to live in the corner of the roof or wilderness, than to share a house with a quarrelsome woman; her whining is like a constant dripping and trying to stop her is like grasping the wind with your hands. This too is meaningless.

You will almost never have the last word in an argument. Be gentle, be kind and always aim to resolve. Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world. To get a female perspective on this, check out Mercy’s post HERE

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