I recently enrolled for pre-marital classes at the Nairobi Light house church and I find the lessons embedded in there life giving. I will use this article to share one of the topics we covered. I will lift some of the excerpts and paste them here word perfect so I would suggest you pick a pen and paper as we embark on this journey. Alright, so here we go
What can I do to help build my relationship? Firstly, you must acquire the essential tools needed. Next you must follow through with putting these tools to work. Sitting here, the theory may seem straight forward but it will take intentional daily choices to apply what follows hereafter.
Picture your relationship as a table. For the table top to be steady and stable, it requires four solid legs of equal length. If the legs are not even, the table will be wobbly; if a leg is missing, it will be very difficult for the table to stand, and if two legs are missing, it will be impossible for the table to function at all
While each leg is extremely important by itself, all four must be in good working order simultaneously for the table’s purposes and potential to be realized. The relationship table must have a solid footing so as to bear the weight of the many things that sit on top of it – careers, extended family, financial stress, tiredness and other realities
The four essential legs on which all healthy, stable relationships depend on are; love, trust, respect and understanding.
Human love intertwined with godly love makes love the most enduring leg – it does not give up. Without such ingredients such as kindness, patience, humility, contentment, courtesy… it becomes hollow and empty. Like the person you’re with and ensure your friendship grows
Trust creates vulnerability and therefore trust is the most fragile leg. It is a decision but it is also a progression, as trust is proven, it will grow and deepen. Utilizing the picture of trust as a leg, falling short would be equivalent to chipping away at the wood. Even seemingly small matters can add up and weaken the strength of the leg. Therefore do not overlook the components of trust, make it a high priority.
Respect is probably the most neglected leg in relationships. We must guard against becoming overly familiar, lazy and rude and so begin to act or say whatever we want, however we want, whenever we want. Respect is to be given always, treating each other with dignity and value.
And finally Understanding; this leg is probably the most challenging as it takes the most effort and the most time. Understanding takes the skill of communication that requires practice. Understanding should be the ultimate goal of your relationships. It takes place in an environment where there is mutual willingness to be transparent and reveal our innermost self. In the quest of understanding, we must find the courage to be true.
I will leave it at that until such a time, we write again on this. Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world. To get a female perspective on this, check out Mercy’s post HERE