‘Women Dating Down’ By Lillian Sudi

Does a relationship between a woman and man who is less ambitious or earns less than her stand up to scrutiny? Well, that depends...


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Does a relationship between a woman and man who is less ambitious or earns less than her stand up to scrutiny? Well, that depends on the individual(s). Every outcome in every situation depends on the attitude of the parties involved. Some reasons why some of these relationships sometimes do not have a happy ending may include:

1. Our culture. We are taught to believe that men provide and that a man who has his woman providing for him,  must be inferior. I’ll give you an example of friends of mine, Grace and Albert. The lovebirds were out on a date, the gentleman couldn’t foot the entire bill, took a hold of his ego and asked her to top up which she gladly did. On their way home, Grace spots a good phone displayed in a store, walks in and pays for it cash. This time round, his ego was a tad bit bruised. They broke up a week later and she still cannot pin point why. He felt insecure by the fact that she had more money than he did, he couldn’t handle it, he broke things off in order to get someone who would make him feel more of a man.

2. The woman starts feeling that she was short changed and settled for less than she deserved. Conveniently she woman looses respect for the man because he cannot provide for her as a man. Example, Aunt Monica and Uncle Stephen. It got to a point uncle was washing all the clothes, cleaning the house, taking the kids to school and moping the floor all by himself. Her excuse, why get a house help when your husband bums in the house? To a huge extent some things are understandable, having your husband cook when you come home late from work is okay to me…but insulting him and sending him around like you do one of your servants is unacceptable.

3. Scene three, the man being too comfortable in his unemployed state he relinquishes his rights as a man to the woman and becomes okay with her providing. I pride myself in being a modern woman but there are some things that go against nature. It is one thing having a man without a job, or actively earning less than you, seeking out alternatives; trying to earn more. It is completely shameful having a man sit back and being comfortable with you feeding and clothing him. After some time, the woman will start reaching out to other men who make her feel more like a woman.

After all is said and done, money or lack of, is not an ultimate deal breaker to a woman looking to settle down with a man…as my colleague Mitchell has stated should you wish to have the right foundation for your family a man who enlarges and expands your vision is essential. The rest is all upon your attitude. To get a male perspective on this, click this link https://africatalentbank.com/2016/12/02/women-dating-down-by-mitchell-odhiambo/  to read my colleague Mitch’s article.  

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