FEMALE PERSPECTIVE By Lillian Sudi On Phones & Dates

PHONES AND DATES I tend to get paranoid sometimes and right about now I can probably give you a million...

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I tend to get paranoid sometimes and right about now I can probably give you a million reasons why you should always have your cell phone with you on a date.

For starters; you might get lost on your way in which case you will need Google Maps. You may get a flat tire and run incredibly late so you will need to inform your date. You definitely need to be able to locate the person you want to meet in case the place is crowded so the occasional “I’m standing next to the huge pick up, can you see it?” is necessary. Not forgetting the worst case scenario where you might just be setting yourself up to meet a serial killer, you don’t want to take the risk of not being able to notify people when your supposed ‘Knight in Shining Armour turns out to be a rapist in aluminum foil, now do you? Apologies for my paranoia, I get it from my mother. Phones are always a necessity in case of an emergency.

That aside, when sitting down with people, your phone should definitely be kept away. For whatever reason, we are constantly running away from the people around us to connect with virtual people on our phones, which is quite bizarre because when you think about it; one should have a real existing social life to give life to his/her own life on social media. But people’s lives on social media are growing more and more fictitious and merely reflect people’s fantasies as opposed to the real deal on the ground. And we love the fantasy.

Thing is, most people who are extremely active on social media tend to have extremely boring lives. My take, you can’t claim to update your status on how much fun you’re having when you are actually having fun. It’s not possible to juggle your meal, constantly type on your phone, talk to your date and actually have crazy fun listening to him/her, all at the same time, regardless of how incredibly good you are at multitasking. With that said; when out on a date, keeping your phone away is plain common sense because you are sitting opposite a real person having an actual meal and that, in my opinion, is an actual experience. Otherwise why did you agree to the date in the first place?

I, for one, remain guilty of pulling out my phone once when I genuinely wasn’t interested in having a conversation on a date some years back. The date ended up being a disaster. He got visibly upset and I wondered why I didn’t just persevere through the hour. But that was then; I now try keep my phone on silent and out of sight and not just for dates but every meeting. Out of due respect, it is just courteous to do so. People getting a kick out of feeling important and acting like they have something more important to do during a consensual meeting does little to impress the other party. I believe a few hours without your phone will not kill you. It is a good gesture giving anyone who has spared his/her time to be with you, your undivided attention seeing as they equally got out of their way to make that time.

To women, when it comes to the list of turnoffs on dates, spending time on your phone comes in second after the first which would probably be the man claiming he cannot foot the bill and more so if you were shortsighted enough to order the entire menu when you clearly knew you could not foot the bill either. But that’s a topic for another day. The lesson for the day is, if you really like a girl, give her the time and attention…. heck, you can even ask your friend to call you just so you can answer with “I’m in an important meeting…will call you back later.” You will be surprised at just how incredibly far that simple gesture will take you. On the other hand; if you don’t like the girl, give her an hour and politely end the date with a sensible explanation…no point in acting up by constantly checking your phone to show that you have something better to do. Simple courtesy will go a long way. Wishing you all a good weekend From Sudi. To get a male perspective, please click HERE to read my colleague Douglas’s views.

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