MALE PERSPECTIVE By Mitchell Odhiambo ‘On Playing House – Come We Stay’

‘On Playing House - Come We Stay' One of my colleagues at work boasts about how he’s got six homesteads;...

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‘On Playing House – Come We Stay’

One of my colleagues at work boasts about how he’s got six homesteads; he decides in the evening where to go rest.

I delved deeper into the issue only to realize five of these are lady’s homes where he spends the night sometimes, and the sixth one is his. This conversation escalated quickly when he asked how do you confirm two people have lived together long enough to be recognized as a ‘Come we stay marriage?’

To give a brief background to our readers, in Kenya our constitution recognizes come we stay as a legal marriage by stating; once you cohabit with a woman for more than six months, by law you are married. When my colleague asked that, our ladies in the office responded by saying the messages sent, phone records etc. are there to support the length of the union. Then it hit me that this thing is real; so could men and women be living in different worlds?

Could the five homesteads he goes to comprise of ladies whose hearts are expectant, each hoping one day he will marry them? Ladies, I have some free advice here. You ought to be careful with men. If a gentleman wants to marry you he will let you know.

No use leaving your shoes in someone’s homestead, bringing your towel, jacket and gradually moving into a man’s life hoping he will put a ring on your finger. Protect your dignity, display some class. If a gentleman wants to marry you, let him come home, get to meet and know the people that brought you up, ask for your hand in marriage, then you can move into his house, yours or a new house altogether whichever way you like.

If you invite yourself into a man’s life, he may enjoy your warmth in the early days, after some time, he will be praying to the Creator to show you the way out of his life with the same ease that you showed yourself in. In extreme cases, you will get kicked out or the gentleman will relocate and leave your life.

Carry yourself with some dignity. Let the man come running after you. Until we speak again, am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world

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