FEMALE PERSPECTIVE BY Lillian Sudi ‘On Playing House’

On ‘Playing House’ It’s no secret that most women cohabit with their men in the hope of getting a ring...


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On ‘Playing House’

It’s no secret that most women cohabit with their men in the hope of getting a ring at the end of the day.  I have countless examples in my book; examples that hardly ever end well.

Look here, the whole cooking, cleaning, and having indefinite sleepovers with your boyfriend can play out in either one of two very different ways. One which is what we all hope for; the man might actually realize how valuable you are, end up marrying you and living happily ever after. On the flip side, which is the most common scenario,  the man might be playing mind games with you and still leave you ten years down the line with a baby, a cloud of bitterness and no title.

Okay, the whole issue of women subjecting themselves to unpaid labor in the hope of acquiring a legit title is ridiculous, I know, but I will blame that on society. Girls from a tender age are trained to be mothers and wives. Girls grow up believing that they should make good chapatti, know how to wash clothes, how to do chores… because, in their minds, the alternative would mean their men leaving them which to them, means,  they will have failed as women.

Most girls are okay being underachievers in their careers as long as they have a man and as much as this makes little sense to me, again I’ll say; blame that on society. While men are taught to expand their horizon, women are taught to latch on to men who have expanded their horizon. A woman’s success is weighed by how successful the man she gets is, other than her own personal achievements. With that in mind, it is no secret that a woman will be eager to move in and mark her territory when she spots a suitable mate. She will be eager to give him all the things she assumes he

needs from a woman, in the hope that he will give her all the things she was trained to believe she needs as a woman. At the top of that list is a ring and ultimately a title.

The only problem with this arrangement is that it is neither a contract nor a mere promise, it is wild speculation. My guess is a real man does not need coercion when it comes to picking out a life partner, he knows from the first moments of interacting with a woman whether she is a good fit for him; something most women fail to understand. With the go ahead from the man she will be willing to wipe your disgusting nose when you have a cold but rest assured a woman hardly ever invests her time where she does not see a future which is quite logical, if you ask me. And so if you do not see a future with the poor lady, tell her so otherwise you will actually be lying to her psychologically.

It might be fun and games eating her hot meals, having your chores done and your bed kept warm but kindly be a man and just tell her you are not willing to invest in that relationship. Avoid all these heartache filled episodes in your life by laying all the cards on the table from the go get. That, to me, is being a man. If she still wants to play house with you, at least you will both be on the same page.  Have a great weekend. From Sudi.” To get a male perspective on this topic, please CLICK HERE to read my colleague, Mitchell’s views.

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