FEMALE PERSPECTIVE By Yvonne Tamba – Is it a Woman’s responsibility to keep the Man in her life faithful?

Is it a Woman’s responsibility to keep the Man in her life faithful?  In all honesty, on receiving this week’s...

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Is it a Woman’s responsibility to keep the Man in her life faithful?

 In all honesty, on receiving this week’s topic for female perspective, I got excited. This was finally my chance to speak out in all my feminist, anti-establishment glory on the injustices visited upon the female species. It was finally time to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard actually, I’m anti-establishment not anti-technology), and point out that it was time to end the oppressive reign of the patriarchy. How cruel that women are still being subjugated and forced to take responsibility for men’s wrongdoings, even in a partnership such as matrimony. How so like the patriarchy! I was going to end this tirade, as scathingly as I could, on a single note; it is no woman’s responsibility to make sure a man keeps his promises. End. Of. Discussion.

Just before I launched into this diatribe, I posed the question to some friends as I usually do to make it truly a female perspective and not just my perspective. Frankly, in this case, I expected that my friends would only give me more ammunition for a piece that would practically write itself. There was no chance that we would not see eye to feminist eye on this one. Surely?

 Imagine my surprise when the response was mostly ‘Yeah. It is the woman’s responsibility, to a certain degree.’ I had to pick myself up from the floor. Surely they had lost their minds?

After a debate that included a lot of shouting and a little foaming at the mouth, I began to see things their way. Don’t lynch me! I can explain.

You see, collective social thought encourages the fallacy that it is not in a man’s nature to be monogamous and by extension, faithful. The genius lies in making it appear to be a woman’s fault that a man would ever want to step out of his matrimonial home. By shifting the blame of a man’s infidelity to the woman, the man can do as he pleases, free of fault. (Disclaimer: Man is used here to refer to the species generally for the sake of the argument, not to any specific men). It is somehow socially acceptable for a man to break his vows, made before God and yet have all fingers point to the woman, his wife who was obviously not taking care of her man and the mistress who obviously lured the man with her seductive temptress superpowers. Diabolical, don’t you think?

My friends wholeheartedly agreed with the points I brought up. They just took it a step further and pointed out that in a relationship, both partners have a responsibility to meet each other’s needs. So while a man’s infidelity cannot be excused, you can bring into question what the woman may or may not have done to contribute to it.  So is it a woman’s responsibility to make sure her husband does not leave the house? Yes. To a certain degree. Let me rephrase to clarify. It is both partners’ responsibility to ensure the health and happiness of their relationship.

Till next week, stay frosty! From Yvonne. To get a male perspective on this point, please CLICK HERE to read my colleague Mitchell’s views.

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