FEMALE PERSPECTIVE By Lillian Sudi – On Why Men Should Always Make the First Move

On Why Men Should Always Make the First Move I remember when I was nine, I fancied a boy in...

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On Why Men Should Always Make the First Move

I remember when I was nine, I fancied a boy in my class whom I will call ‘Mark’ for now. I loved everything about him; from the way he coughed to the way he held his pen, he was simply divine. I gave him the green light by lending him my sharpener and eraser every time he needed them, saving him half of my snacks, which I was not known to be generous with, and helping him with his homework (Mark was not the smartest chap in class if you know what I mean). All that and he never really noticed me. Needless to say how devastating this was.

Suddenly on a random Monday morning, I opened my locker and found a note from a secret admirer. It had to be Mark right? I mean who else could it be? I did cartwheels in my head during math class, which was the first lesson that day. As we went out for recess, I was willing to give him more than the usual half of my doughnut. I hang around him waiting to discuss the note but he completely brushed me off. Such a shy boy, I thought. Knowing that the feelings were mutual was all I needed to know. My life had been illuminated by the note; love was fresh in the air. We would discuss it whenever he felt ready.

The next morning was another note. “Mark is too romantic,” I whispered to myself. But like the previous day, during recess he didn’t want to talk about his sudden burst of morning affection. The notes continued as did my philanthropic acts towards him, although we never discussed anything. Approximately a week later another boy, who I shall refer to as Sam, came up to me and told me he liked me. He reminded me about the notes and while I was flattered, this became my first heartbreak by Mark. I got over it by the next day; I was only nine after all and gladly ate my snacks all by myself. I leant by my tenth birthday what grown women still don’t seem to understand, “As a woman, you must not chase a man”.

So do you still ask why a man should always make the first move? Maybe you catch your ‘Mark’ checking you out, spend time with him but he never asks for your number. Or maybe he did, but he never actually called. Maybe he called, you chat but he never asks you out. He seems interested but he never acts on it. So, you saunter over to him and say hi. Like that daydreaming moron you’re stuck behind at the busy intersection, you feel like throwing your arms up in the air and yelling, “You’ve got the green light! Just go already!” You sit back and wonder why there are so many timid men out there.

Shy men aren’t that numerous. In fact, that cute guy who flirts with you and acts interested, but never actually does anything about it, can turn out to be a totally different breed of guy. He’s not timid, or awkward, or nervous. He’s simply not into you. If a woman initiates, a man will not stop her even if he is not interested. You see, if a woman makes the first move, then the man doesn’t have to be the douchebag who acts interested, gets the girl into bed, then dumps her immediately after. It makes perfect sense to bed the lady because she is interested but never actually commit because he didn’t want a relationship from the get go and however the man plays it, he can always come out as the victim. If the man is the one being chased then he is the one unsure about the relationship and has a valid reason to leave anytime

In my opinion, masculine energy is all about purpose, drive and mission in life. Feminine energy is about opening up and receiving love. In the animal kingdom, the female attracts the males, the males initiate and the female is naturally going to mate with the most dominant male. A man making the first move is a perfect opportunity for him to showcase his level of confidence. It’s all about self branding. A real man goes for what he wants. The more safe and comfortable a man makes a woman feel; the woman will open up and become submissive to receive his love. Women can grow to like a man with time, a man seldom does. He is either in to you or simply isn’t. No amount of coercion can change that. But I am no relationship expert, that’s just my opinion.

At the end of the day if a man really likes a woman, he will go for her. To get a male perspective on this, click link to read my colleague Mitch’s views – http://goo.gl/1WKrlB

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