FEMALE PERSPECTIVE On Communication differences between Men and Women By Marilyne Kiptoo

COMMUNICATION DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN For decades, it's been said that men and women communicate so differently that they may as well be...


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COMMUNICATION DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

For decades, it’s been said that men and women communicate so differently that they may as well be from opposite planets. In fact, if you have read the book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, you may actually agree that we are from different planets – as the title suggests. Men and women are different in many ways  and the key to understanding these differences is often in the way that men and women communicate. 

Women’s scope for conversation is virtually unlimited; perhaps this is why many men will say that women talk and talk and just when you think they are done talking, they talk some more. We use communication to explore and organize our thoughts. We may not know what information is necessary or excessive until the words come spilling out. I think that for a woman, talking is a goal in itself, because it accomplishes many things, such as getting things off the chest, airing different views in order to decide among them, getting support from others or simply building rapport with others.

When a woman faces a problem, she wants to talk about it in order to vent out feelings and ultimately, get to a solution through this process although this does not necessarily mean that she is searching for a solution; she might simply be looking for someone who will listen & understand what she is going through, how she is feeling and support her. Most times, women feel loved and cared for when people show interest in them by asking caring questions or expressing heartfelt concerns.

Though men think that we utter everything that is on our minds, I admit that women are not the most direct people when communicating. We use both verbal and nonverbal tactics to communicate. Sometimes we talk indirectly and expect  everyone else to guess what we are driving at or drop hints and clues as to what we want and expect everyone to figure it out.

It goes without saying that we do not like it when men give us the ‘silent treatment’ by withdrawing into their “cave” when upset or stressed and  focus on other things like watching television, reading the newspaper, or playing video games to avoid communication; that is why we persist with nurturing questions or criticism. I think most men find it irritating, but they should understand that women use communication to discover how her man feels. We use conversation as an act of sharing and an opportunity to increase intimacy with our partners.

All in all, we communicate in different ways. All we need is to understand each other more and be great listeners.  To get a male perspective on this topic, please click link to read my colleague Mitchell’s views  –  http://goo.gl/x2JUQN 

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