Female Perspective – On why a crush feels so good yet hurts so much By Lucy Ngigi

Crushes are driven by some hugely powerful brain chemistry, which wrecks your judgement, and sweeps all your doubts and fears away. It happens to the...


1050 0
1050 0

Crushes are driven by some hugely powerful brain chemistry, which wrecks your judgement, and sweeps all your doubts and fears away. It happens to the best of us. One day, you’re just eyeing the people around you, and then-wow!   You start crushing on someone.  Maybe someone you shouldn’t, e.g. your best friend’s boyfriend.

Crushes are especially common among teenagers, but happen to almost everyone sometime.  A fleeting contact with a stranger can suddenly feel like the love of your life.

From that moment on, you can always spot them in a crowd, have inappropriate dreams and imaginary conversations with them, stand taller when they’re around, always know exactly where they are in the room, and position yourself so you can see them.

You ‘like’ all their posts and comments.  If they friend or follow you, it’s your best moment ever. The first time they notice you, your emotions soar.  Mixed with soul-crushing if they talk to anyone else.

So as a crush really kicks in you are powerless to stop it.  Which is how people start affairs, risking everything for something completely irrational.  It’s the same chemistry that causes the mix of sweaty palms, racing heartbeat, shaky knees, lost concentration, dreaminess, heightened attention, desire, giddiness, excitement and nervousness that people call falling in love.

Your dopamine level increases which is highly addictive so you will willingly do it all again and again, even if your work suffers as a result. Some hormonal level falls which makes you obsessive, anxious and jittery, so you endlessly check your phone and doodle your crush’s name in class. The thought of your crush heightens your energy, keeps you awake all night and improves your memory.  So you remember everything as vivid and awesome.

Yes it’s very true a crush feels so good but on the other hand it hurts so much especially if getting your crush is only in your dreams.   

To get a male perspective on this topic, please click link to read my colleague Mitch’s viewshttp://goo.gl/R8Myid  

In this article

Join the Conversation