FEMALE PERSPECTIVE By Daisy Shamiah
ON LOOKING FOR THE IDEAL LIFE LONG PARTNER
This is a question many ladies ask themselves silently without getting that ‘ideal’ answer. To begin with, is there something like ideal?
Away from partners and relationships what does ideal really mean? An ideal partner is defined as that individual or person that exhibits certain desirable characteristics to be emulated. It then begs the question, which establishes or actually says that these are the characteristics to be copied.
This blind assumption of who an ideal man is, has left so many ladies chasing the wind in search of this ‘ideal man’ who in my opinion, does not exist. In my opinion the perception of an idyllic man is relative. The same way as beauty is relative in reference to the eyes of the beholder. It is a personal decision – a lady sees what she likes or dislikes in a man and she may them tag them as ideal or not. My neighbor’s ideal may not be my ideal.
On the other hand, if I was to close one eye and actually acknowledge the presence of this ‘ideal man’ this is how he would be like. Forget about the tall dark and handsome myth. What if he is short light and handsome, does he seize to be ‘the one’? It’s true that physical appearance should not be a judging point; however, I would like someone who loves himself enough to maintain his body fit. I do not say he has to stay overnight at the gym, eating right and a jog once in a while is enough. Coming to the values, my ‘ideal’ man is patient, he does not jump to conclusions, and he gives me the benefit of the doubt before he can actually judge.
He is loving, not the kind where he keeps on texting or calling me, just to say the three letter word, but who actually shows it in all he does. Giving me a hand when I am stuck, being a shoulder to cry on when in distress and complementing me where necessary. He is of course a financially stable guy. Not that I am a gold digger, but I mean, him being financially stable means he can afford to spoil me once in a while. Every girl needs that. All the other definitions and qualities are just icing on the cake. Ladies, and especially the twenty first century girl, stop concentrating on the icing and leave the cake to crumble. Know what you want individually. You can either jolt it down on a piece of paper or at the back of your mind. Then set yourself to find it. Remember to keep your mind open giving a blind eye to one or two icing factors may not be really bad as far as the cake is intact. After all, they say it’s only a woman who can make a man be who she really wants him to be. Wishing you all, a good weekend from Daisy Shamiah. To get a male perspective on this, please see the post by my colleague Mitchell Odhiambo http://goo.gl/iOWUBz