WHY HE DOESN’T CALL – A male perspective by Mitch Odhiambo

To all lady readers, have you ever gone out with a gentleman and everything went well and it...


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Mitchell OdhiamboTo all lady readers, have you ever gone out with a gentleman and everything went well and it looked and felt like a dream? He was warm, fuzzy, charming, exciting and you almost swore you had found your prince charming. He was attracted to you, you felt a certain thrill around him, the chemistry was mutual and you told all your friends about him? However, three days later,  lightning strikes; he hasn’t called, or even sent a text message. What is going on?

You probably spent the last 48 – 72 hours constantly checking your phone records 60 times a day staring into your screen hoping you are the one who missed his call. “What is going on in his head?” you wonder. “We seemed to zing in perfectly. What goes on in a man’s world? Why hasn’t he called?” I will use the next words in my article to share my perspective as a gentleman on,“Why he doesn’t call.”

For us gentlemen, things are straightforward. It’s either game on or game off. Call us binary.. Men are like predators. When we want something, we stalk and move in stealthily until we find it. If he is interested he will call, text, Facebook, twitter, e-mail you, he will exploit all resources at his disposal to catch your attention. If this is not happening, we hope you understand and in the words of the Hollywood movie “He’s just not that in to you”.

However there may be several reasons why a gentleman could be interested in you but hasn’t called you yet.

  1. He was sabotaged. He could have lost his phone or perhaps your contact. Perhaps it’s a classic case of clearing phone history, before saving her number. To deal with this, I encourage you to send him a text message immediately you get his contact; this will spare you a lot of speculation and frustration.
  2. He is playing games. If he likes you, he has discussed you with his friends and they may have advised him not to call you (a mind game to analyze your degree of desperation or stability). This is a case of misdirection. Oops! Gentlemen, don’t play this game; ladies don’t like it! Call them to say nothing, that’s how they like it. It is understood as affection.
  3. He is shy. Give him time. There is no antidote to this one. He will flourish when he is ready.
  4. He does not want to look desperate. If it crosses his mind that calling often will make him look desperate, he will make a tactful analysis and call the woman he wants as little as would express his interest, and as much as would make him feel comfortable as the King of his domain.

Think of it like a game of chess. The mighty queen flies freely to whichever extremes she pleases but the poor King can only move one step at a time.

If he is not calling ladies, pull yourself together and just move on. What I find is that you could go the extra mile to schedule your next date in advance, as once you go your separate ways, he could easily forget.

Welcome to a man’s world! In the very extreme, probably he doesn’t call because he has a wife and kids; the man has a family! He might have saved you both a lot of drama.  Sending you all good wishes. From Mitch Odhiambo   Click link to read my ATB Colleague Beryl Amatta’s post titled: ‘HOW SHE FEELS WHEN HE DOESN’T CALL – A female perspective’    http://goo.gl/eX7DTc 

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