HER PERSPECTIVE – We say, silence is golden, but often we look back at our words and end up with huge regret. How often do we say hurtful words to our spouses/ partners in anger, only to realize how unnecessary these were? How often do we shout at our kids, only to realize they were never wrong in the first place? How often have we spoken ill of someone only to realize they were innocent? A strategy that is often helpful in achieving the “Think before you speak” aspect is asking yourself a few questions:
T – Is it True? Are the allegations that you want to press on that person, that spouse true? Is the gossip you want to spread actually true?
H – Is it Helpful? What impact does it have when you say it? Will it build or break? Will it help or tear down?
I – Is it Inspiring? We want to be remembered as having a legacy about being inspiring/touching someone’s life. But do our words say the opposite? Will what we say leave the other person inspired or down-trodden?
N – Is it Necessary? Is what you want to say even important at all? How many times do we simply say things, to seem relevant when in fact, often these are not even necessary in the first place?
K – Is it Kind? As women especially, we are fond of speaking our mind! You know we want to make sure that person gets a piece of our mind! But how about we try and be kind? How about we work on building kindness in our speech?
Wouldn’t it be nice to be known as that person who speaks gently, who is inspiring, who is kind simply because of our words? As the good book says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but hard words stir up anger.” This is the female perspective by Mercy Karumba, what’s your say?
Be Careful before you speak By Mitchell Odhiambo – Do not be quick to go to court for what you have seen or to strive hastily for what you have heard, for what will you do in the end if your neighbor puts you to shame? Take it easy and be keen to find out what exactly transpired prior to passing judgement. After all, the first to present his case seems right until another comes forward and questions him.
Especially for those of you all in relationships, be persons of integrity and seek to make peace with the truth. Once the truth is in your sheath, that my friend is your shield, advance with it honourably. If an issue requires your intervention, face it head on once you are sound and resolve the matter amicably with patience and endurance.
Avoid bickering and quarrelling, for starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Resolve it immediately to avoid resentment from building in your heart and taking root.
And do it definitively. Avoid repeating the same issue over and over again, that kind of whining is counterproductive I can guarantee you. For as churning the milk produces butter and wringing the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife which is cancerous. Better a meal of vegetables with love than a fattened calf and a house full of feasting with strife and hatred. Therefore be resolute and sound, mature in handling your disputes and addressing your issues. Be careful before you speak.
Let the proceeds of your lips be that which nourishes and strengthens. Build with your lips and admonish with your tongue. Rebuke that which is evil and nurture that which is sound. Maintain silence where the truth is unknown, that gives you leverage. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps his mouth shut. Therefore use your tongue wisely, master it and you will steer your life perfectly. Until we speak again, I am your host, Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s new world