When she’s just not into you
When women love they love hard so whether she’s playing hard to get or not, there are just some things that a woman who genuinely fancies you will never do. I presume that things were easier during our parent’s dating days; a boy made his intentions clear from the get go which in most cases implied he had considered, eventually marring the girl. It was not a rollercoaster of emotions as it is today; there was simply no time to waste.
Today the dating game has changed a great deal and there are so many unspoken rules concerning dating that often make us feel like we are in an infinite maze and there is absolutely no way to simplify things. We’ve even gone ahead to name that confused state because it’s become a normal phenomenon; ‘Situationship’- a situation where one or both the parties in a relationship don’t know what’s going on. Okay maybe that’s just my definition of the word though I have never understood the genesis of a ‘Situationship’ because the two can just communicate and be on the same page, yes? Anyway, that’s besides the point, the truth of the matter is that our attempt to evolve and redefine the rules has affected many aspects of our lives and our relationships seem to be the worst hit.
However, there is a thin line between a girl playing hard to get and a girl who’s simply dying for you to leave her alone. Let me let you in on a few distinguishing red lights; I shall start with the most common one which is her not replying to any of your messages. Well, when a girl fancies you she can’t help it when it comes to talking you. She will text or call back, maybe not immediately but she will, trust me. If she’s busy she’ll text or call back later to tell you that. Note to my friend Mr. X (if I use his real name he will assassinate me); when you see those two blue ticks on WhatsApp and notice she’s online despite the fact that you sent the message 14 hours ago, then goes ahead to update her status on Facebook, uploads a photo on Instagram and posts a story on Snapchat…well she really doesn’t want to talk to you. She does not care about what you have to say, she’d rather sing to her invisible cat than text you back. I’m sorry.
If a girl keeps on coming up with excuses about meeting up with you, she does not want to meet you. She’s probably busy staring at paint dry…key word here is busy. So take the hint and move on swiftly. If she has ever said you are like a brother to her or that she does not see you ‘that way’, you are seriously deep and buried in the friendzone. In her twisted little mind, anything romantic with you can be equated to incest which is pretty gross so just let go with your pride intact. If she tells you she is not ready for a relationship she is lying; she is just not sure about a relationship with you. It probably means she sort of/ kind of/ possibly/somehow might date you in the foreseeable future although she is not entirely convinced. She’s lukewarm about the idea, hasn’t totally dismissed it but is definitely having second, third and fourth thoughts about it. Rest assured that she might have phrased it in a manner to imply that she was the one with the problem but she definitely meant that it was in fact you with the problem; she is not convinced she wants to end up with a person like you.
If she ever said you deserve better, she acknowledges you’re a nice guy but you don’t tickle her fancy so she’s given you her blessings; she would prefer you pursuing anyone but her. If she says you are not compatible refer to the explanation above. All in all, girl’s love hard so if she acts like she really doesn’t like you she probably doesn’t…don’t read too much into it. At the end of the day it is also good to note that all girls are different so if still in doubt; pull away a little and wait to see whether she’ll react. CLICK HERE to get a male perspective on ‘He’s Just Not Into You’ by my colleague, Mitchell.