On how we respond differently to Goodbyes By Angela Mugo
Every hello is a goodbye in the making. As it is, from the moment you meet someone, it is like a timer starts ticking to the time they will exit from your life. Some goodbyes are heart wrenching while others well ,you don’t even notice that person’s absence.
I believe ladies have to face far more goodbyes than their male counterparts. This is because ladies often tend to form bonds a lot easier, with their bonds often stronger and deeper. You would think that with all that practice we would have become experts when it comes to the inevitable ‘Goodbye’ routine. Yes? No!
With every new heartbreak, the pain feels different and sometimes piercing. That is why ladies dread goodbyes. It may be easier on the person leaving because of the exciting new environment and experiences they expect to encounter. However, to the person being left behind, this goodbye means the same old space but with now, one more blank space. Ladies invest a lot of time in to building relationships and end up so attached hence the difficulty in letting go. It is like taking one year to learn a new language then someone asks you to forget it in a day.
Ladies tend to often be very emotional; we wear our hearts on our sleeves, so to speak. From the moment we sense a goodbye on the horizon, we start mourning it even before it happens. A lady will try so hard to run away from a goodbye. They will try to convince the person to stay, going as far as being really supportive so the other may see what they are about to be leaving behind. That’s how we are; if we can, we will avoid pain as much as possible. If the goodbye is inevitable, a lady will tell whoever is leaving exactly how she feels about it. That’s our way of dealing with pain; we want to share the load. However with a lady, it doesn’t take that long to move on and find something that will help to ease the pain away.
While we may be big on mourning, sometimes this is brief for a lady will go out and make a new friend who will do the things the old one used to, and soon that gap is filled. Perhaps she may turn to ‘retail therapy’ and buy a new and awesome pair of shoes to counter that pain with excitement. She will also try to keep contact so that she feels like that person who left is still there. Sometimes long distance relationships work, but when they don’t, the lady will let it fade and life will go on. Sad, but such is life!
Goodbyes are inevitable in your life, if you do not constantly have to let go of people then you are not growing. Remember, some people are only meant to be part of your history and are not a part of your destiny. Best wishes, from Angela. To get a male perspective on this, please click link to read my colleague Mitchell’s views – http://goo.gl/I7gegZ