In today’s society, we encounter different types of people based on their characters. Irrespective of the differences T.D Jakes narrows them down to three basic types as follows:
THE CONFIDANTS – These are normally very few in number. They love you unconditionally and are into you, whether you are up or down. If you are wrong they are still into you and will always point out a wrong as it is. They are there with and for you, for the long haul. They are the kind of people who will come to your rescue anywhere and anyhow. They will always find a way and get you out of trouble. They are the type that you can open up to and share freely with the surety that they will not use the information against you or talk to other people about it.
THE CONSTITUENTS – These are the people who, while not into you, are into what you stand for. For this type of person, as long as you are into what they are for, they will labor with you, walk with you and work hard with you. Since these kinds of people are into what you stand for, if they find someone who will further their agenda, they will leave you for that person because they were never for you in the first place.
THE COMRADES – This is the third category of people. They are not for you nor are they for what you stand for; they are simply against what you are against. They will always team up with you to fight a greater enemy. They will be with you until the victory is accomplished. They are like scaffolding coming to your life to fulfil a purpose and when the purpose is fulfilled the scaffolding is removed. The good thing is, the house stands, even in the absence of the scaffolding.
This got me thinking about true friends and how many times we have been let down by the very people that we thought were our true friends. Confidants are our mentors. They are our counsel that will confront us and get in our faces to make sure everything is straightened. These are the true kinds of friends and the ones we need to watch out for. Once we find them, we need to keep them because they are very rare indeed.
We should expect our constituents and comrades to leave us at some point because in the real sense, they were never for us but rather, were out to accomplish a mission using us, as a channel. Sometimes constituents are confused for confidants and thus it is advisable for us to watch out, lest we be deceived. Our dreams are worthwhile and should be shared with the right people. While some who we confide in will will leave us and try to accomplish these dreams without us, others will tell us we cannot achieve them. It is not about them and we shouldn’t have hard feelings. It is about us identifying our confidants and getting the ball rolling.
Remember, there is always a choice and we choose what we settle for. Friendship is no different. If they cannot be your confidant, if they are not happy when you succeed and are not into you, then you need to make a choice. Either stick there and watch your dreams die or exit and pursue what you believe in. To read more posts by Gertrude, click HERE