While in school we all had great ambitions: we wanted to change the world, we wanted to travel, we wanted to be the “go to” person in our fields, earn four figure salaries, drive our dream car, get married to equally rich
people and live life in the fast lane. Turns out there is a huge difference between dreams and reality.
The reality of the matter is that life is all but a bed of roses. The thing is, an ill prepared mind will get into a fist fight with the reality of life after he/she realises that no one just wakes up and starts a business or that he/she is not as attractive an employee as he/she thought they were. This leaves most graduates broken. Before figuring out where you are in your life, before getting that job or driving that car; is a period of uncertainty and a period of complete and utter despair. It feels like everyone is on the right path apart from you. It feels like friends are
getting jobs, getting married, having children, getting their lives in order and all you have to show for it is a degree which at that point, feels like a simple piece of paper. So when you bump into an old friend who
casually asks what’s new in your life, it evolves into a trick question followed by a second of awkward silence.
Some friends will be getting married after you realize the man you had branded your boyfriend in college was a complete waste of your time. Friends who got jobs and are busy getting their careers up and running
become people you equally wish to evade: more so because you don’t quite fit together anymore. An ex who has a family now makes you feel like you were clearly the problem between the two of you. It becomes very easy to slip into a depressing state when you feel like everyone’s world is moving, apart from yours.
My advise is; do not fall into a pool of self pity; wake up and show up every other time. Things do not always work out the way we want them to, life is not all about sweating blood to achieve your goals… life is about
making the best out of the experiences we were blessed to have. Evaluate and internalize your status, though uncertain, strive to grow. Own that bit of your life and make the best out of it. Do not be afraid to say you are
in the process of self identification if that is where you are, there is nothing wrong with where you are as long as there is progress. Be confident and own that question the next time it pops up. To get a male perspective on this, please click HERE to read my colleague Mitch’s views.
