On ‘BUILDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP’ By Mercy Karumba

Building a relationship takes effort, intention and commitment. For it's often the small actions, which done genuinely, build love and relationships. Through experience, some three things that...


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Building a relationship takes effort, intention and commitment. For it’s often the small actions, which done genuinely, build love and relationships. Through experience, some three things that have stood consistently in building my relationships include:

Stepping in without being asked to – Sometimes we want to be begged to do something before we step in. We want to feel important by waiting for a request first, but this is not what love is all about. Love demands us putting aside our ego-centrism and stepping in for the sake of the other. You know she needs something, but because you want to fuel your ego as a man, she has to beg you to do it for her. You know he wants something done for him, but you don’t want to do it without being asked. This desire to feel important is what creates a barrier for growth in a relationship. Are you the kind of person who does things to fuel his/her ego, or do you step in without being asked?

Answering the question that is not being asked – We need to learn that behind every simple question, there is a larger question that goes unasked and unanswered. More often than not, its what is left unsaid that matters the most. This not only builds honesty and openness, but also creates trust. This is a key attribute in communication. Do you believe there is something that has been left unclear after a discussion? Please don’t wait to be asked, simply clarify. Do you think your partner feels insecure about a certain issue? Please assure him/her without waiting to be asked.

Do something nice,”just because” – Sometimes we need no occasion to act on our love. You don’t need a birthday, anniversary or any event whatsoever to surprise or do something nice to your loved one. The other day I saw a post from a friend of mine,  having received a cake delivery at the office with the words “I love you” from her husband. Not because they were celebrating an anniversary or birthday, but just a reminder that indeed,”he loves her”.  How often do you treat your spouse ‘just because’? How often do you leave them wondering why you are so sweet? It is the small actions that matter.

Relationships are unique in their own little ways, and so is your partner. What makes them feel the spark may not be what makes me or the other person feel loved. What matters is doing every little thing selflessly and for the good of the other. What is that unique thing that has built your relationship? To get a male perspective on this, check out Mitch’s post HERE 

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