On ‘WHAT HE SAYS vs WHAT I HEAR’ By Mercy Karumba

Communication is a crucial and very complicated factor in a relationship. It is one thing, if handled well, becomes the strength of a couple and...


109 0
109 0

Communication is a crucial and very complicated factor in a relationship. It is one thing, if handled well, becomes the strength of a couple and if mishandled, becomes the loop-hole.

You know, as ladies, we listen beyond what is unsaid, whereas men are very blunt and straight forward and will interpret what you said just the way you put it. However for us, we take what you said and what we think you were trying to say.   

He says, “I will do that do for you a bit later.”

What I hear, “I am quite busy/not available right now, maybe you would consider doing it yourself.”

Yes, we understand sometimes as a man, things may be tight and one may not be in a position to do a task immediately. However, that’s not how she understands it, if it’s possible to go a bit deeper and explain,” I cannot manage right now for the following reasons, but I will do so at this specific time.”

He says, “You have really changed, you have really gained/lost so much weight lately.”

What I hear, “You have really changed, I don’t find you as attractive as I used to.”

Weight and looks are very crucial to a woman and the worst thing would be her man not finding her attractive anymore. If it’s possible, let her know that she is beautiful, and you appreciate her before commenting on her weight. Or better still, help her work on it without repeatedly commenting on it.

He says, “Is this a new dress, I have never seen it before.”

What I hear, “I can see you bought a new dress, its fine with me, but is this your best?”

There’s no worst feeling as her dressing up for you in a new attire and all you notice is that its new but fail to compliment the new look. If you like it, please let her know and show some enthusiasm.

He says,” Who is he? “

What I hear,” Is he after you” or “Are you having an affair?”

Jealousy is quite normal especially for someone we highly adore however, how we express it is a matter of big concern. We as ladies, feel a bit judged if he gets too protective, and most of us have stories about times, we have felt so bad after such an innocent question.

This is just a small list of how innocent phrases can be misinterpreted. As much as men mean exactly what they say, women may not say what they mean and therefore always try to dissect what men say, thinking there’s hidden meaning.  Sometimes, let us try and take him for his word and not over analyse, even as he works on clarifying his words.   To get a male perspective on this, check out Mitchell’s post HERE  

In this article

Join the Conversation

four × four =