In my entire life, I have not met a man or woman who courts another with the simple goal of this relationship failing.
If anything, there is often a lot of hope from the outset that the relationship will succeed and that the partner at the time, may ultimately turn out be the one. Looking around though, there are many broken hearts and broken marriages which makes you wonder why or how, some relationships succeed while others fail.
From the onset of a relationship, there are signs that could help you establish whether a union is built to last or not. There are cultures and behaviours which if cultivated, can cultivate a harmonious environment that encourages longevity. Top of the list is the ability to listen to your partner.
People love to feel valued; grant them that. It’s the little things we do in our day to day life that make our partner feel valued and respected or disrespected and unappreciated. We must learn to listen to what they say, the desires of their hearts, and the yearnings of their souls.
Like the old adage, life is what happens to us when we are busy planning what to do. The welfare and the state of the relationship is determined by how well you oil it and this lubrication has to be a continuous process.
While you plan the trip to Dubai, pay attention to your partner’s needs. As you take your children to the best schools, be available at home to watch them grow. As you plan your mega wedding, be sure to calm your partner’s fears and so on and so forth. Do not be deluded into thinking that throwing money at problems will make them go away. Ignore them for long and your situation will be exacerbated.
When your partner is communicating their love language to you or disappointment & concerns, that is not the time to be defensive and outline the many sacrifices you have made. That is your time to make them feel valued. Be present in your relationship and give a listening ear. I wish you all the best. Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world. To get a female perspective on this, please read Mercy’s post HERE
