What is important to you? What are your values? What are tangible successes to you? Is it a promotion, having kids, moving country? What is it? How about intangible successes? Is it confidence, improving staff morale, a shift in mindset? What is it? What are you gifted at? What comes naturally to you?
The above value system defines one’s personal attributes and core values and I believe it is important to know one’s belief wall well before agreeing to spend the rest of your life with them. Failing that, you may face tons of problems in the future.
I heard a story about a man whose wife left, leaving him in shook. Upon interrogation, he learnt it was never in the woman’s dreams to have children and he was stunned by the response “My body, My choice” It is therefore important to question the core values of an individual before committing the rest of your life to them, I repeat.
Where you share core values, that’s just beautiful. Where you find there are conflicting values, have the difficult conversations from the onset. As soon as you realize things are getting serious, have it. If you’re already serious, take some time and have the tough conversations. Work out which are the non- negotiables and figure out whether or not, you can live with them.
Are you willing to compromise on your values and to what extent are you willing to go, to accommodate your partner. Do not assume this issue will sort itself out. It will not. You could spare yourself years of turmoil. Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world. To get a female’s perspective on this, please read Mercy’s post HERE
