I have heard complaints from both parties of the spectrum, on what should/ should not be done once someone is in a relationship. There are comments like you are spending too much time with your boys, or you are spending too much time with your girls. How much is enough and how much is too much?
Before one enters into a relationship, they spend too much time with their crews until thy meet the one they love and all that was group love changes and friends often don’t like it particularly boys. They say you used to like us until you met this girl and nowadays, you don’t have time for us anymore. When we agree, we are going for a party and your girl calls. That’s’ it. Our party is as good as done.
The alternative is a case where one gets into a relationship and is perceived to be spending too much time with their friends over their newly found partner. Always bringing their friends into the dates or out there watching football with the boys, hanging out with the girls and the problem crops up. When are you going to invest in your relationship? How much time is too much time with your crew?
I am not sure if there’s an absolute answer to this but I believe, it is good to strike a balance. Keep your circle of friends of course, however dedicate time to cultivate and irrigate the relationship with the one you are courting. Make it deliberate and as the relationship matures, invest more time in it as you are now transitioning from one level of the relationship to the next. Surround yourself with people who are already in the level of relationship you are moving into. They will share wisdom with you that is essential during the pivoting phase.
Let me know what you think below. How much is too much? Be sure to catch my colleague’s article on the female perspective
Until we speak again, I am your host Mitchell Odhiambo. Welcome to a man’s world. To get a female perspective on this, read Mercy’s post HERE
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